i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
