yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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