There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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