omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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