I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
