Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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