no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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