i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
