so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
