just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this just has baby written all over it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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