Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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