On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
