My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
