I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize