Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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