so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
