worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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