at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
