i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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