I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
