Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
