can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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