i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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