I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
me + whiskey = a bad person
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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