You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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