Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
