you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
