you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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