stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
