Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
