and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
