I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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