Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
