remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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