doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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