Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
