I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
