This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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