You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
