we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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