He asked to "fluff my boner.."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize