she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
