yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We need to rekindle our bromance
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
