A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
