i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
