I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
