I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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