Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize