Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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