sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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