I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
