We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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