i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so let's talk penis.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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