i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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