Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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