The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
