Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
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