dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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