everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
