So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
